'Her dress was cursed': Bride cuts toxic ex-bestie out of the wedding, saving $5000 for a hand-me-down wedding dress and protecting herself from a poisonous friendship

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    Product - TWO r/TwoHotTakes. Posted by u/One Piccolo4414 8 hours ago I ended a friendship over a wedding dress Personal Write In
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    Font - Got inspired to share my story after hearing a wedding dress story on a recent episode. Buckle up THT friends this ones a RIDE. (skip ahead for TLDR) I (30F) have been friends with this girl (lets call her Jackie, (32F)) I met from another friend for 4 years now. We got really close really fast and were inseparable for the last three years.
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    Font - Last year Jackie got engaged to the guy she was seeing for 3 years, (lets call him Ben (35M)). We were excited because I got engaged right around the same time and the four of us had been really close. However a few months into their engagement she confided in me that she was sleeping with a guy she met at her job and she didn't know what to do. I tried to be understanding but it was hard to stomach. She
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    Font - not telling him why. I never told Ben, I never told anyone in our friend group except my fiance (34M) because they were really close (and me and my fiance tell each other everything duh) but he agreed to never tell Ben because he really just didn't want to see Ben hurt or doubt himself. Then my fiance confided in me something that kinda kick started all of this... he told me he was glad Jackie broke up with Ben
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    Font - because he felt Ben deserved better and that Jackie isn't a very nice person or a very nice friend to me. I was very defensive at first but than I started noticing what he was talking about. There were parts of our friendship I really loved, but more that I didn't. For example, if she wanted something, I always gave in so she wouldn't get mad. She hated when I hung out with other friends or didn't hang because I would prioritize my fiancé or family or quiet time alone at
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    Font - home. She expected to be invited to everything I was doing even when it was with people she never met. That was not usually the case for her inviting me to everything. She criticized my weight/clothing choices. I agreed to things I didn't want to do because it was just easier than the argument or dealing with her upset. I genuinely just wanted her to be happy like I want all my friends so I let everything go.
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    Font - I went dress shopping for my wedding dress with my bridesmaids. Jackie is one of them. After dress shopping Jackie told me that she had a wedding dress she didn't know what to do with now and was super sad about it and asked if I wanted to come over and try it on. I said sure. I came over tried it on and she got really excited about how it looked on me, I admitted it was really great and I loved it too. We
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    Font - took pics of the dress sent it out in our friend group and everyone was like "YOU HAVE TO WEAR THIS DRESS" so I told Jackie if I didn't find anything else I loved, that I would consider buying it from her. I went home and told my fiance and he hated the whole thing. He told me I was just being a people pleaser, that Jackie was trying to pawn her dress off on me and why couldn't I just pick out something on my own that's new to me and mine even if its the same style. I agreed and decided t
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    Font - Fast forward - I go dress shopping with my mom and my childhood best friend and find THE DRESS. It's similar in style to the one Jackie has, but also different and I loved everything about it. I ordered it and posted about it on my IG. Jackie was PISSED. She
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    Font - blew up my phone, telling me im an ungrateful little "b**ch" for not picking her dress, that I never appreciate anything she does for me, that she lost out on opportunities to sell her dress in the last few months because she thought I was buying it. That I was just buying the same exact dress anyways... on and on.
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    Font - She said such horrible things to me! I was shocked. On top of everything she venmo requested me 5,000 for the dress. FIVE. THOUSAND. DOLLARS. so had I known the dress was that much I wouldn't have even entertained it to begin with. But she had made it sound like she was going to give it to me for a steal of a deal!
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    Font - So. I met up with her once to confront her for her behavior because I knew I wanted to stand up for myself but also - we have 4 years of history and she's still in my bridal party so I wanted to try to figure it out. Maybe she was so hurt over her past that she was reacting this way? Idk. I failed to mention she's also with someone new (she moved on quick, not the work guy but another guy and seems very happy). When we met
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    Font - guess I had re-enforced behavior where I just caved into her demands prior so she expected the same this time. She said more hurtful things about how I always chose my fiance over her on the weekends and was a terrible friend the past few months. (I made new friends at work that I spend a lot of time with and generally enjoy hanging out with more esp after my fiance pointed out how lopsided our friendship was).
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    Font - Basically the way this ended was I told her she no longer in my bridal party or even invited to my wedding. I was not interested in being friends with someone who respected me so little, was so mean to me and did not care about my feelings. I told her she was being selfish. Obviously that didn't go over well, maybe I shouldn't have said it, I dont care I finally spoke up for how she made me feel.
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    Font - Its gotten awkward in our friend group because she has been telling everyone a different version of the events, telling people she misses me and wishes I would just apologize, stop being a bridezilla and move on. I have all her nasty texts and a video of her berating me saved in my phone to remind myself to never go back. Most of my friends see through it and have come to me - the ones that haven't Im not too worried about.
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    Font - Im excited for my wedding day- I'll look at my dress knowing it's MINE not previously owned by someone I know (nothing wrong w prev owned), and that it gave me an out from the most toxic friendship Ive been in.
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    Font - TLDR: my old bestie cheated on her fiance tried to sell her old wedding dress to me, my fiance was mad about it helped me see how bad of a friend she was to me, I found a perfect dress with my mom and childhood friend, bestie said some means t, venmo requested 5 thousand dollars saying I made her lose money, I told her she's a selfish bish, we aren't friends the end.
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    Smile - butterinthegarden 7 hr. ago She sounded like a person who only wants friends that benefit her then turns into a monster if she doesn't get her way. Not a good foundation for friendship.
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    Rectangle - Proud_Spell_1711.5 hr. ago Yup. That's a heavy millstone off the OP's neck. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I'm sure there are other metaphors but you get the picture.
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    Rectangle - Aggravating_Law_1315. 7 hr. ago I am glad you ditched Jackie, told Ben, and your fiancé and you can move on. The therapy is a good call as you were in an abusive relationship. Good luck to you both.
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    Gesture - Jumbee1234 7 hr. ago Good for you dumping the toxic friend but make sure to have security at your wedding. Toxic people like that rarely just go away.
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    Font - Panaccolade 6 hr. ago I had a friend like this. Had being the operative word. She was exhausting and I got sick of tiptoeing around her because, no matter what I did, I always managed to set off some sort of tantrum.
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    Font - ashwilliams94 8 hr. ago It reflects very badly on you that it took all of this to see that Jackie is a horrible person, after she admitted to CHEATING ON HER FIANCE. Doing it at this point would probably come across as vindictive, but you really should have insisted she tell Ben or cut her off, poor guy has his world turned upside down and wasn't even told why
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    Font - One Piccolo4414 OP. 8 hr. ago. edited 8 hr. ago Hindsight is 20/20 every time isn't it though? I definitely learned a lot the last year. And therapy has opened my eyes a lot. At the time, I believed that being loyal to her as a friend meant not outing her cheating. Ive changed my mind on that now for sure.
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    Font - unonameless 6 hr. ago This post and so many others like it is exactly why we will have a private ceremony with minimum guests. 4 5 + Reply Share Dry_Ask54936 hr. ago Good riddance!
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    Font - Individual_Baby_2418 4 hr. ago Her dress was cursed, FYI, because she wore it. Even if she only wore it for a few minutes to try it on, some of her essence rubbed off. You made the right call. And her behavior was completely inappropriate. She needs therapy.
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    Font - Pale_Willingness1882 6 hr. ago The dress would've had bad juju tbh. Who wants a dress from someone who was cheating on their fiancé? That's like using a ring from an ex fiancé for your new one.
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    Organism - I ended a friendship over a wedding dress Personal Write In TLDR: my old bestie cheated on her fiance tried to sell her old wedding dress to me, my fiance was mad about it helped me see how bad of a friend she was to me, I found a perfect dress with my mom and childhood friend, bestie venmo requested 5 thousand dollars saying saying I made her lose money, I told her we aren't friends

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